Being a full time mother is a very hard but challenging experience. There are household chores – laundry, cleaning the house, cooking, and a lot more. Aside from the chores, there are the kids to take care of, your husband to attend to, bills, school, and a never ending list of this and that.
Being a mother means you have to be on duty 24/7. No day-offs or vacations for mothers. You need to be on-call and on your toes in case any member of the family needs you. But being a mom is a very fulfilling “job”.
Carrying a child on your womb for nine months and bringing another life into this world is one thing only us, women are capable of doing. This is why motherhood is something we must be very proud of.
What about working mothers though? How does motherhood and career affect them? Let us focus our discussion on working mothers. If full time moms have a hard time with the “job”, much so the working mothers.
DO NOT FEEL GUILTY
In most cases, mothers are “obliged” to work and have careers because of financial constraints. A mother is attached to her child not only physically, but emotionally and psychologically, as well. A responsible mother often thinks of her child first before anything else.
The initial reaction of a working mom, once she leaves the house and heads for the office, is to feel guilty that she has to leave her child under the care of other people.
Put your guilty feelings away and focus on priorities. Think about how your earnings can help the family, save for the future, and for your child’s education as well. Learn to accept that there are good and bad days. That is part of life. That is life’s reality. You must learn to discuss things with their partners so you can get their support and cooperation.
FIND A PERSON WHO IS DEPENDABLE AND RESPONSIBLE
The most common thing a working mom can do to have somebody look after her child is to find a nanny or a babysitter. Make sure you get somebody you can trust. It helps if you can get recommendations from friends and family who have had experiences with nannies and babysitters.
Set a criteria on important points and make appointments to interview possible caregivers and nannies. You can also go around and visit local day care centers. A good caregiver or nanny must have a good record. Meaning, excellent references and an extensive experience.
Mothers often fuzz every morning over a lot of things – preparing breakfast, choosing what the kids will wear, packing lunch boxes, and at the same time preparing for work. To avoid morning rushes and make your mornings easier, prepare things that you can prepare and do earlier, like the night before. This way, you will have just a few tasks on your hands to deal with in the morning. Pack everything that needs to be packed, lay out kids’ clothes for the next day, and plan what to cook for breakfast and what they should have for their lunch boxes.
Make a “to do” list. Go over the list you have made and talk it over with your partner to decide who does what. Make use of this time to talk about changes in the home and divide the chores. Organizing things will leave you more time to enjoy breakfast with the family instead of rushing out every morning.
CREATING A FAMILY CALENDAR IS A GOOD IDEA
Creating and organizing a family calendar will be a great help. Your family calendar must be placed somewhere where you can easily see and go over it. Hang it on the wall. In this calendar, you can put indicate when a particular bill is due, schedule of events and activities of kids, birthdays, and other important things. This may also serve as a “to do” list as you can also write things that you need to do on a particular date.
Make an effort to be organized as you can be. This will make your life easier. And you will have more quality time with your family after work since you will not be spending much time with the hustle and bustle of motherhood.
HAVE AN OPEN COMMUNICATION CHANNEL WITH YOUR EMPLOYER
It helps to have an open communication with your employer. This way, you can discuss things with them, so they will be aware of your situation and will understand you better if something comes up in the home. Find out about flexible working terms with your employer.
Do not be afraid to ask them questions like “how much time off you can have” or “how much of the working hours will you be paid”, and other pertinent questions so it can be answered to ease your mind. Be as open and honest as you possibly can with your employer. This will help them understand your situation better, and maybe you can agree upon a work schedule which can benefit both you and the company.
BE SURE YOU REMAIN CONNECTED WITH YOUR CHILD DESPITE THE DISTANCE
Being away from your child does not mean cutting off connections between you and your child. Things are much easier now as we have the wonders of technology to aid us with this. You can record your voice while reading a story, singing your child’s favorite songs, or just talking to your child. Hearing your voice can form a bond or a connection between you and your child.
You can also hang pictures of you and your partner so your child will still recognize you despite of the fact that you have limited time to spend with him or her. If you come home late, make up for it by giving your child something special in the morning. Like you can prepare a special breakfast, or give your child small gifts and notes.
During your break time at work, you can call your child and talk to him or her. Hearing your voice often will create a sense of familiarity so your child will still recognize you even though you do not see each other much.
It is not easy being a working mom. But since these mothers have no choice but to work for their families, they need to learn how to budget their time and balance it between work and family. But it is not just the mothers who must exert effort to achieve this. They need the understanding and cooperation of their partners and their kids, if they are old enough to take part in this endeavor.
The success of every home and family does not only depend on one person. It has to be a team effort. Everybody must be involved and take part to help make their home happy, peaceful, and successful.