Your Marriage After Having a Baby
Getting married is bliss for most couples especially if they got married because of love. Your home will be filled with laughter, jokes and sweetness. But what really happens in a household after having a baby? Are the routines still the same? Is the relationship of the couple similar as it was before? Let’s read on.
Unavoidable Ways you Married Life Changes After Having a Baby
- Constant Change
Yes, change happens. Those who say otherwise are kidding themselves. During the first few stages of your married life, it’s just between you and your spouse. But having a baby means that life no longer revolves around the couple. It’s going to be between you, your spouse and your baby.
So how would you deal with this change? Accept it.
A baby is a helpless little being which depends in you to live. You must stay around-the-clock to feed him, bathe him, take care of him --- you know the drill. Your baby needs your undivided attention, so you must accept that fact and deal with it.
- You Might be Annoyed with Your Partner
This doesn’t happen with all newbie parents, but it happens to some. Most wives tend to get annoyed with their husbands after having a baby. Why? Because the husbands don’t have any idea how to help.
Imagine yourself being a mom who had just given birth to a healthy baby. Your time will be consumed in feeding it and taking good care of the baby. Now your hubby got home from work and is also tired like you. He goes up to the table and find out that you haven’t cooked dinner, yet He gets mad at you and tells you that you are useless. So how would you feel?
Some husbands tend to do this. So hubbies, please stop pressuring your wife. Taking care of a baby is more handful than going to work 8 hours a day. A baby requires 24/7 attention, more time consuming than your nine to five job.
Help your wife. Do the dishes, buy take out if you don’t know how to cook (although spending the weekend learning how to cook is essential as well). You can also take turns in taking care of the baby especially if you have a day off at work. It won’t make you any less of a man when you do household chores.
- The Just-You-And-Me Relationship Will Never Be the Same Again
Before having a baby, you and your partner might cuddle up together and talk about buying baby clothes, milk and diapers while planning to spend the weekend with each other. But it’s not all that.
Having a baby requires your full attention all throughout the day. There are days that your partner might feel left out after coming home from work but instead of rushing to him and tend to his needs, you will be welcoming him home over a crying baby.
This might be hard at first especially if you are both used to having quality time together. You can still do this after having a baby, but it will be more seldom than before. Remember, a baby is not a thing that you can just turn off if you want to rest and turn on again if you’re ready.
- The Baby is More Important than your Partner
Okay. So this is not as literal as it sounds but when you have a baby, you tend to show more affection to it than to your spouse. This is one of the reasons why some couples fight after having the baby that they have been anticipating for nine months.
Petty quarrels about time and attention is normal but remember not to let it get the best of you and your relationship with your spouse. Try spending your couple time while the baby is asleep. Cook a decent meal for the both of you and make the most out of that spare time away from the crying machine.
- Being Nice Can Sometimes Go Down the Drain
You spent the whole day taking care of your baby and your husband came home from a bad day at work. An argument is possible since you are both tired, so you tend to snap at each other more easily.
The both of you should learn how to control your temper even though it’s easier said than done. This is to avoid worse fights and arguments between you and your partner. If ever you did get into a fight, remember to not make any decisions when you’re angry.
- Relaxing in Your Sanctuary is Near to Impossible
If you used to be a woman who is a couch potato, then things will entirely change for you once you have a baby. You will be moving nonstop in order to tend to the baby’s needs. You will be up during the wee hours of the night and spend most of your time taking care of the baby.
You can no longer lie in the couch and laze around all day watching a movie marathon because your baby needs you.
At this stage, make the most out of your free time. When your baby is fast asleep, use that time to do the house chores that you neglected to do because your baby is your priority. If you have finished your chores and the crying machine is still sleeping soundly, lie in your couch and just relax. Do this to take care of yourself as well because once your baby is up, you’ll be spending your full attention to him.
- New Bond Within the Family
Yes, not all changes are bad. You will notice that despite the petty arguments your baby will cause you and your husband, a bond much stronger than before will be formed. That bond is not just between you and your spouse but with your baby as well. You will be happier than before and will notice that your teamwork is improved.
Having a baby will definitely cause some difficulties especially if it’s your first time. But that’s the reason why you have your partner. He will help you go through that stage and support you in everything that you need. Don’t give up, a baby is the greatest blessing that you could ever receive.
